Why Afterplay Shouldn’t Be An Afterthought
There is an avalanche of advice out there about foreplay, and most people (we hope) know what it is—the stuff you do during the build-up to penetrative sex, such as touching and kissing your partner, sexting, playing around with sex toys, and so on. It helps to get those hormones hotted up, so you are fully aroused and good to go.
However, not much attention is paid to afterplay, the things you do in the hour or so after you have had sex. Yet these moments can be just as important to building up a good sex life with your partner as what you do before or during sex. You might think that basking in the happy afterglow is enough, but it’s still important to keep the communication going.
So, how is it best to handle these moments to keep those warm and fuzzy feelings on track? Here are a few suggestions!
Focus on the good stuff
Avoid any blunt comments or criticisms about your partner’s performance, or the moment will probably descend into an awkward and decidedly frosty silence! Asking if your partner climaxed or how it was for them is kind of clichéd and crass.
Instead, keep it light and positive. If there was something they did that you particularly liked, tell them (they will hopefully remember it for next time!). Most people are sensitive when it comes to their sexual performance, so be kind and praise the good stuff if you possibly can.
Cuddle up to some music
Some chilled-out music can help to soundtrack that post-sex mood perfectly. Cuddle up together and have some pillow talk, or make a cup of tea. Small acts that show you care will help to build up that bond of trust and intimacy.
This is especially important if you are into intense power play roles during sex involving kinky restraints and so on. It helps to make sure that you are both happy and comfortable with what has just happened, and is generally a good way to dial down the drama after a scene.
Take a shower with your partner
You might be more used to showering as part of foreplay, but showering together after sex can be an enjoyable and intimate experience. If you have time, you could even have a long luxurious soak in the bath tub with some sensual scented bubble bath and a few lighted candles to create a perfect post-coital glow.
Grab a snack
Lovemaking can create a good appetite, so if you’ve both got the munchies, why not cook up something hot and delicious together? Avocado on toast or a full fat fry up are popular choices!
Go to sleep…
OK, maybe you are just too tired after sex to do anything much, and just want to have a nice nap! However, don’t just kill the mood by rolling straight over and zonking out without a word—a mutually agreed nap is what is called for in this situation!