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What To Do If Sex Isn’t Lasting As Long As You Would Like

Some things in life are best enjoyed in small doses, but for most of us, this does not include sex! However sometimes a couple can be out of sync, especially when it comes to heterosexual intercourse, or penetrative sex between a male or person with a penis and a woman or person with a vagina.

A 2005 study of 500 heterosexual couples from across Europe and the US found that the average time of sexual intercourse was just 5.4 minutes. However, when questioned about how long penetrative sex should last, most people said that between seven and 13 minutes was their particular sweet spot. 

If sex isn’t lasting as long as you would like, there’s no need to put up with a less than satisfactory experience. It can take a little bit of thought and effort to make a change, and of course it should be done as part of a mutually agreed process. Be careful to frame any comments you make on the topic as useful suggestions, rather than criticisms!

Most people are sensitive about their sexual performance, so blunt remarks about not lasting very long in bed will probably cause tension and may make the problem worse. It takes two to make partnered sex great so put equal emphasis on changes you can both make, rather than piling pressure on one partner. 

Try using a penis ring

One of the barriers to longer sexual intercourse is often simply maintaining an erection long enough for a satisfying experience. Some men find that wearing a penis ring (AKA a cock ring or love ring) can help with this. It’s a ring that sits at the base of the penis to restrict the blood flow, and it helps the erection last longer.

When used correctly, they shouldn’t cause any discomfort, and they are easy to put on and remove. Some versions have a built-in vibrator so that they can act as clitoral stimulators, helping to turn on the female partner at the same time

If you have never used a sex toy before and feel wary about the idea, remember that they are simply products designed to enhance your sexual pleasure and make life better!

Studies show that only 39% of women orgasm through penetrative sex alone, so using vibrating sex toys can really help to level up the enjoyment for both partners. In no time, you will find that spending longer in bed takes no effort at all…

Work on the build up

Placing all the emphasis on penetration can pile on the pressure and even lead to performance anxiety, especially for men. Instead, spend more time on the build-up, with sensual touching and kissing. Play around with the senses such as smell, touch, and taste, using props such as massage candles, flavoured lube, and ice cubes. 

Do some pelvic floor exercises

Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can help to improve sexual stamina and sensation for both men and women. There are loads of easy-to-follow guides on how to do them available online. 

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