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Red Hot Mamas: How To Have A Good Sex Life After Birth

Bringing new life into the world can be a joyous experience, but at some point between all the nappy changing and feeding routines you might be starting to wonder how your own needs can be met. Most women will naturally put their sex lives on hold for a few weeks postpartum while they get to grips with the early stages of motherhood.

Women who give birth vaginally may be advised by a doctor to avoid having penetrative sex for at least four to six weeks to allow time for healing. The NHS advises that there are no rules about when you should start having sex again, but you may find that if it is too soon after giving birth the experience may be uncomfortable rather than pleasurable. 

Attempting to carry on as before may damage your relationship with your partner in the long term. If you are not truly enjoying sex it will become just another chore on your to-do list, and that would be very sad indeed. It is possible to get back to a satisfying sex life post-partum, and even make it sexier and more intimate than before. Here are a few tips.

Explore non-penetrative ways to be intimate

Sex is so much more than penetration. There are plenty of ways you can enjoy physical intimacy with your partner through sensual touch, kissing, or massage, for example. In the early stages of parenthood, your moments to relax alone together will be precious, so make the most of the opportunity to be physically close.

Experiment on your own

If you feel nervous about the idea of having sex again, plan some me-time to experiment alone. This way you can gently explore your body without any pressure, and stop if you find anything too uncomfortable. Use your fingers or a sex toy to discover what you enjoy. 

When you do have penetrative sex for the first time post-birth, it may be helpful to use a lubricant to ease any dryness and avoid pain. The body goes through hormonal changes after childbirth which are temporary and are intended to help you recover and bond with your new baby. 

However, they can lead to a dip in oestrogen levels, which may leave you with a low sex drive, vaginal dryness, and other menopausal symptoms such as night sweats. Don’t worry, this is a temporary phase that will last for two or three months. Give yourself time and you should soon start to feel sexy again.

Learn to love your body

Your body may feel different after birth, which might affect your self-image and general sense of well being. If you are worried about your pelvic floor, kegel balls are a great way to help you tighten your pelvic muscles. This can help with bladder control, and also make sex more enjoyable for you and your partner.

The weighted balls are held about two cms inside your vagina, allowing you to progressively squeeze and release. This not only strengthens your muscles, but it provides gentle stimulation to help bring those sexy sensations back!

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