Busting The Biggest Myths About Bondage

In recent years far more people are buying a bondage kit and realising that whilst it can add a bit of spice to a relationship that has seemingly settled down, it is not as intimidating or scary as you may think.

There was a time when leather, lace, whips and chains were seen as truly scandalous, but most people who have an open mind quickly realise that BDSM is far more about mutual pleasure, role-playing and indulging in fantasy than control, restraint and rough sex.

With that said, 50 Shades of Grey has a lot to answer for when it comes to solidifying myths about bondage sex, BDSM and kinky sex in general.

Myth: BDSM Is Violent

Whilst BDSM can be rough and involve toys, whips, restraint and sometimes pain, it does not have to involve any of these and one of the most fundamental aspects of BDSM is consent. 

Every bondage session has a safe word for a reason, nearly every partner meets up with each other before they have any session together and in many cases, contracts are drafted to ensure that it is clear what each person is comfortable with before starting.

All BDSM is done within these boundaries and within the fantasy that both participants are willingly and enthusiastically consenting to.

Myth: BDSM Always Involves Some Form Of Dungeon

BDSM can be done with complex remote-controlled vibrators and technology, or it can be done with a single silk blindfold and a commanding voice.

Because it is such a broad church, BDSM play can sometimes not involve any bondage equipment at all, and when it does, some people use whatever they have lying around if they cannot reach a sex shop nearby.

Myth: BDSM Is Rare

According to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, over half of the women surveyed had a sexual fantasy about submitting to bondage play, and over 65 per cent had a fantasy about being dominated, with nearly half (47 per cent) fantasising about being the dominant one.

You typically cannot tell who will be into bondage just by looking at them. People wearing leather and lace may have vanilla sex lives but be really into heavy metal music, whilst some of the most conservative-looking people you know may have a kinky sex life.