A Painful Tale Of How Not To Use Anal Toys

If you fancy spicing things up in the bedroom, the backdoor route to doing so is something that may appeal to you.

Getting some anal sex toys may help you gain experience and discover what you like back there, but it is important to know just what to do and how to make the most of them.

A great example of how not to use them - the kind of thing that will either make you wince or laugh - recently found its way into the sort of newspapers whose readers find these things hilarious. Gigi Chapman from Manchester revealed how using a metal butt plug went wrong and led to a trip to A&E.

In a confession that some will consider totally TMI, some snigger over and a few nod quietly and say “Yeah, I once did something similar”, Ms Chapman explained that she used the device during a steamy ‘friends with benefits’ session.

“When we were having sex it felt like the toy had gone a bit deep. I assumed he had taken it out but I think he had actually pushed it back,” she revealed.

“We kept on going for about 15 minutes. We were chatting after and it was then when I realised that I couldn’t see the butt plug anywhere.”

It was at this point that she realised the three-inch-long toy was still inside her. Cue a desperate attempt to remove it while squatting in the bath. But while the back passage is designed for expelling certain things, they don’t quite include a device like this, which meant 40 minutes of painful endeavours were unsuccessful.

There was nothing for it but to call 111 and the pair were advised to head to the hospital, where an X-ray confirmed how deeply lodged the item was.

Surgery was considered, but instead a junior doctor - described by Ms Chapman as looking like a “90s heartthrob”, used a lot of lube on his rubber gloves and managed to remove it, although the procedure was so painful that oxygen had to be given.

Sometimes this sort of pain can follow standard P-in-V sex, but that usually takes nine months. Clearly this was not how the toy was meant to be used - and once it was finally extracted, Ms Chapman decided to dispose of it rather than keeping it as a macabre souvenir.

None of this is to say you shouldn’t use toys like this, but it is important to use them properly and carefully. Read the instructions and also get good advice from those who know or find it online.

Even in straightforward vaginal sex, you can find yourself having mishaps, enduring pain and chafing or sustaining injuries, so it makes sense to be cautious and sensible when using toys. You also need to make sure there is lots of lube involved, especially as the bum is not self-lubricating.

The good news is that for all we may laugh at things like this going wrong, for many people using anal toys is great fun. It brings lots of pleasure and adds a whole new dimension to their sex life.

Besides that, you can rest assured that if something does go wrong, it’s not mandatory to go running to the newspapers to tell the world about it.