Which Lessons In Love And Sex Are Worth Following?

People are often looking for advice to spice up their sex life, be that because of a fading spark in a long-running relationship or getting ready to get back in the driving seat and forge new connections, whether they last just a night or years afterwards.

Sometimes all it needs is a change of scenery, a new sex toy set or a new outfit to make people want to rip it off, but much like how everyone’s sex life is just a little bit different, everyone needs something different to make it complete.

This makes a lot of sex rules and lessons in love rather unhelpful. Aside from ensuring every encounter is safe, sane and consensual, and everyone involved is happy, horny and enthusiastically consenting, there are few universal rules for how to have sex.

With that in mind, here are some commonly given pieces of advice and how helpful they actually are.

Put On Some Music

Ignoring ridiculous music choices like Cbat, a lot of people do believe in having a sex playlist of a few go-to songs to help with the mood, swearing by it as a way to build up the mood.

Music during sex is not a terrible idea but it is a really bad rule, simply because it will work great for some people and absolutely terribly for others.

When it works, it gets people into the rhythm more and can help make them more sensitive and comfortable, but when it does not work, it is at best a distraction and at worst a complete turn-off.

Orgasms Are Not The Goal

There is a perception that you need orgasms for good sex and that sex ends after orgasms, but neither of these statements is really true, and it is refreshing that a lot of sex advice is making it clear that you can feel good and not climax and it still be a good time.

The ultimate side-effect of focusing on orgasms is that it makes you tense and stressed, which in both cases can make it less likely for you to orgasm.

Also, it takes two (or more) to tango; make sure everyone is enjoying themselves, including yourself.

Tell Them What You Want (And Listen Back)

Great sex all comes down to communication. In some cases talking is all you need to flip the switch.

Say what kinds of positions you like, where you like to be touched and what turns you on, and you will be surprised how much better your sex life becomes.

Even for one-night stands or casual flings, where you don’t know each other all that well, just saying what you want and guiding them to where they need to be to make everything wetter will make all the difference.

Love Yourself

Of course, being confident in your body and knowing that you are beautiful and sexy and deserve immensely good sex is important, but the more literal kind of self-love is essential to knowing what you want.

Try out toys, explore your body with your fingers and try different sensations such as ice cubes, soft fabrics and smells.