What Is Bad Sex And What Should You Do After It?
Great sex is about communication, understanding and exploration. It is about listening to your body and using toys or a partner to give it what it wants so you end up in a pool of ecstasy.
We know great sex when we feel it, and it is often the sign of compatibility we pay the most attention to. If we feel good with someone, we are naturally going to want to keep them around.
However, is the opposite true? If we have bad sex with someone, is that a sign that we need to already start moving on?
It is a far more complex question as defining bad sex is far harder than defining good sex, and it often means something more than simply not feeling it hard enough. It is shaped by a complex mix of expectations, desires and preconceptions and is not always easily spotted.
What Even Is Bad Sex?
Bad sex is not just the opposite of good sex. Even with partners that people have a lot of compatibility with, sometimes it is a bit awkward, slippery or a bit weird, especially if they are trying a new position or a new kink for the first time.
Sometimes, even in the best of circumstances, people do not have the mind-melting orgasm they think they should, due to all sorts of potential reasons beyond the bedroom. Not being fulfilled after being filled is not, by itself, a sign of bad sex.
Conversely, bad sex is not typically the type of uncomfortable boundary-crossing encounters that make people rightfully run for the hills and cut ties with someone. Abuse is not bad sex, it is altogether far worse.
Bad sex, instead, is altogether more subjective, where one or all of the people involved feel bad afterwards, but figuring out why this is can be far more difficult.
Many people will have awkward first times after hooking up. Everyone has nerves, expectations and ideas of what their first time with this new partner will be like, and sometimes that can lead to quite flat encounters if the reality does not match up.
In a lot of cases, the best way to tell if bad sex is more than a one-off is what happens the second time you get to it, as a lot of these previous ideas and preconceptions will go away and help you to just enjoy the moment.
As well as this, the best way to tell a one-off bad sex moment from a trend is how you and your partner respond to it. One bad romp is only a dealbreaker if everything around it is not enough to make up for it.
The next time you have sex is often more relaxed, more playful and there’s usually more clarity about what both of you want.
Communication is so key early in any relationship, and it can turn a disappointing night into an amazing relationship, if both of you are willing to learn from it and come together, figuratively and literally.