Tips To Tackle A Mismatched Libido
The libido, or sex drive, is what determines how much sexual activity we desire. Everyone is different, and the libido ebbs and flows in each individual for many reasons. This is natural, and some couples take it in their stride. However, in some relationships, mismatched libidos can cause frustration and misunderstandings to build up.
This is a very common problem, but if it is not openly and sensitively discussed, the resentments can lead to unbearable pressure on the relationship, and it may even cause a couple to break up. However, a mismatched sex drive needn’t mean that your relationship is doomed! Here are some tips to find a sex life that works for both of you.
What might be affecting your libido?
If your sex drives were happily in harmony at the beginning of the relationship, but lately one partner has lost the lust, it can help to check in with your lifestyle, and physical and mental health.
Sexual desire is often a very complicated thing, which can be influenced by many interacting factors. These could include previous experiences and social conditioning, the emotional tone of the relationship, hormone cycles, and physical mental well-being. Simply being tired and stressed can cause the sex drive to nosedive.
Certain medications, such as antidepressants, can affect the libido. Drinking too much alcohol, using recreational drugs, and smoking can all dull the sexual appetite, so of you think any of these factors might be at play, a few lifestyle adjustments may help.
Communication is key
One thing many people fail to realise is that an imbalance in sex drives doesn’t usually mean their partner loves or desires them any less; the majority of the time it’s other factors that have caused their libido to wane. However, the partner with the higher sex drive may feel guilty and rejected.
Therefore, it’s important for the partner with the lower drive to keep talking, and give reassurance that they are not being deliberately hurtful, and there is nothing that the other has done wrong. However, they shouldn’t be pressured into sexual activity if they are not in the right mood for it.
If there are wider issues with trust or unresolved conflicts in the relationship, these need to be addressed before you attempt to recalibrate your sex life.
Get in touch with your own body
Sometimes, getting to know your own body better can make you feel sexier and more confident, and more likely to want sex with a partner more often. Using a sex toy such as a wand vibrator can be a way of finding out what level of stimulation you need to feel really aroused, without the pressure to satisfy your partner.
Once you are feeling more relaxed and comfortable with yourself, you could try using a sex toy with a partner. This could either be to satisfy their higher sex drive, or to make your own desire more intense. There are no set ways that work for everybody, so it might take a bit of experimenting before you find what satisfies you both, most of the time.