How To Understand And Maximise The Pleasure Of Edging
There are certain types of sexual play that are frequently misunderstood, particularly those that are commonly associated with bondage play and BDSM that can make some eye-rolling, toe-curling experiences even better.
One of these is edging, which is the delayed control of an orgasm, either done to yourself to intensify the already strong feelings that come from an orgasm or for the gratification that comes from the build-up of that agonising tension itself.
With a partner, the opportunities for edging are endless, and indeed the very first edging technique was devised by famed urologist Dr James Semens, which is now commonly known as the “squeeze technique”.
When done right, edging can lead to unreal orgasms and an extreme level of mutual pleasure, especially when combined with other types of sex play, but to make the most of it and avoid ruining the experience, you need to understand both the psychological and the physical aspects of edging.
Why Do We Love Living On The Edge?
Edging is a type of orgasm denial, and at its core, the basic idea is to interrupt the feeling of pleasure right before the point of no return and an orgasm is inevitable.
However, it is not a ruined orgasm, because whilst with that the entire point is that this delay and build-up of tension is never ever resolved, with edging, it is all a prelude to a progressively steeper cliff edge.
The biggest reason why people love edging is that, up to a point where a delayed orgasm gets ruined, as that cliff edge gets higher and higher and you reach the point of no return without crossing repeatedly, the tension and anticipation builds until it erupts with the fury of Krakatoa.
This is true for people with penises or vaginas; whilst the techniques are certainly different, the ultimate underlying tension, the clenching of the muscles, the buildup of frustration and juices and the sheer power of the release is a sexual universal.
It is also why it is a popular part of bondage play and something many people often get started with when they want to try BDSM. With a partner, it is a simple way of establishing control and a dominant and submissive dynamic before progressing into more explicit forms of power play.
However, beyond the sheer beautiful force of the destination, there are many reasons why people love the journey as well, and somewhat unusually, some of these reasons tie into mindfulness.
The concept of mindfulness as a way to release tension and anxiety and the explicitly tension-building practice of edging seems almost contradictory, but both are connected in how they link your mind to your body.
As that tension builds, as each orgasm gets denied, as those fingers quickly stop moving, agonisingly, teasingly close to that release, you start to recognise the sensations of your body and understand what you like and what you need to go over the edge.
As well as this, whilst it can be a case of complete surrender, for many couples edging is something more mutual, needing close communication to find the perfect point before reaching your limit. It can and often does bring couples closer, as long as both are enjoying the experience.