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How To Talk To Your Partner About Your Fetish

Studies have found that being able to communicate your sexual preferences with your partner can lead to better sex, but knowing how to talk about your fetish can be awkward even at the best of times.

When is the right moment to bring it up, and how much detail do you go into? And what can you do if your partner isn’t into the same kinks as you? The notion of ‘coming out’ to a partner can be scary, but that’s a pretty normal feeling. We have three tips on how to talk to your partner about your fetishes.


  1. Stay positive

On the whole, kinks and fetishes are meant to be fun and pleasurable, so keep that in mind and talk about them in the same way. Focus on what turns you on about it, and why you think it would be hot if you both tried it together.

Why not start the conversation by asking, ‘You know what would really turn me on?’ or ‘You know what I’ve been fantasising about a lot lately?’.


  1. Use media references

It can give your partner a contextual reference point. For example, if you wish to be spanked by your partner, you could reference the spanking in the film Secretary, say it was hot and has your partner ever spanked anyone?


  1. Take it slow

No matter how long you’ve fantasised about it, or even if you have experience with that fetish, it is still new territory for both of you together, so don’t expect your partner to instantly be able to fulfil your fantasy just how you imagined. Take it slow, and explore.

Ask them what they find hot about your kink or fetish, if anything, or at the very least which parts feel the less scary and intimidating. You may fantasise about your partner becoming a strict disciplinarian, but if all they can find to begin with is a slightly nervous bossiness, that’s absolutely fine - don’t rush them!

If you’re looking for a sex shop online to help find the props and toys for your fantasies, visit our online store today.

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