How Do You Find Your Favourite Sex Position?

Fans of ITV2 reality show Love Island may be familiar with some of the more exotic sex positions revealed by contestants over the years, by name if not in reality! This year, most of us learned for the first time about the Viennese Oyster and the Broken Eagle, for example, and who could forget the Butter Churner from 2020?

Some of these positions turned out to be only achievable by yoga teachers or advanced gymnasts, while others are simple twists on the classic missionary position. So, do the Love Island love gods inspire us with their sexual prowess, give us a bit of a laugh, or make us feel a bit, well, unadventurous in bed?

Experimenting with different positions is all part of getting to know a new partner of course, and over time you will probably settle with two or three trusty favourite sex styles which work every time. But even the most enjoyable positions can get a bit stale in the end, and women in particular might find that trying something different really delivers.

However, speaking to Women’s Health recently, sexpert Jordan Dixon warned that comparing ourselves to others in bed can build of a sense of inadequacy. It is important to bear in mind that reality TV shows often have little to do with reality, and the contestants are primed to put across a highly curated version of themselves. 

Sex positions inevitably involve two (or more) people, so if you try to impress a new partner by working your way through the Karma Sutra, you are more likely to alienate them than build up a real and lasting intimacy. Truly great sex involves an emotional connection, as well as a physical one.

Turning sex into a performance with an end goal can lead to anxiety and a sense of failure. Instead, it’s best to focus on a sensual build up, and really take the time to find how you and your partner like to be touched. When we touch our partner’s skin in a sensual way, it releases feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, which all help to build desire.

This is the only way you are going to find out what really gives you pleasure, and what feels like a chore. Once you have become comfortable being intimate with a new partner, there are plenty of ways you can add variety, without turning it into an athletic performance. 

For example, you could introduce a fun sex toy such as a pink vibrator to provide some extra stimulation to the clitoris, which helps most women climax more easily during sex. There are loads of different types to choose from, but if you want to use it during penetrative sex, go for something small like the mini bullet.

Your surroundings matter to how sensual and aroused you feel during sex. Try stimulating the senses with some essential oils and your favourite sexy music, and keep the room where you have sex free from the clutter and distractions of everyday life.