Top Women’s Sex Questions: Answered!

Sex is one of those topics that it can be difficult to talk about. Sometimes it can feel as though you should already know the answers to certain questions, or as though you’re the only person who’s experiencing something.

We can definitely tell you that, whatever your questions, you’re not going to be alone! Glamour magazine recently put some of the most common sex-related questions from women to its experts to get some answers.

At the top of the list is one that many people with a vulva will relate to: why do I find it difficult to reach an orgasm with a partner?

Intimacy coach Lisa Welsh explained that part of the issue can often be performance anxiety. By placing the focus on climaxing, we don’t stay in the present moment and enjoy all the sensations associated with sex with our partner, which means we can struggle to reach orgasm.

She also revealed that, for women, penetrative sex often doesn’t result in orgasm, because the vulva and clitoris are the places where the majority of women’s nerve endings are. “Often it’s most helpful to mix external and internal stimulation if you’re having penetrative sex,” she added.

You can use lube for sensitive skin to help your partner’s fingers glide all over your most intimate area, and if you feel up for it, you can also experiment with introducing sex toys for some extra clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.

If you’re struggling to enjoy penetrative sex with your partner, meanwhile, lube can be great for this too. Ms Welsh’s top tip is to make sure you apply it to the vulva as well as the vagina, because this “reduces friction, heightens sensation and just feels great”.

As with above, it’s important not to just focus on penetrative sex. Explore other sensations and get to know one another’s bodies. Variety is the spice of life and it’s certainly important for a spark in the bedroom!

Another common issue that the publication receives questions about is a mis-matched sex drive. If that’s something you’ve noticed in your relationship, it’s important to simply spend time together, not necessarily in the bedroom.

Talk and make sure that this time is reserved solely for you and your partner to focus on each other. If that leads to some fun between the sheets, great! But it is also important to share these moments to develop the intimacy in a relationship.

If you’re keen to introduce a vibrator or another sex toy to your time with your partner, Ms Welsh has a few pieces of advice.

First, buy a sex toy together so that it’s a shared decision. Just taking time to browse and look at all the options can be really sexy and help get you both in the mood. Talk about how you could use different toys and decide which one you want to try (remember there’s no reason why you can’t add to your collection if you find you enjoy it!).

If you have your own that you use for solo pleasure, show your partner how you use it and explore how to introduce it to your sex sessions together.

Never bought a sex toy before? Check out our top tips for making this investment for the first time. Thinking about what part of your body you’re aiming to pleasure, as well as whether it’s predominantly for solo or partnered use are among the factors to consider.