How to prepare for anal sex?

  • Kandidsutra

How exactly do you prepare for anal sex?

When it comes to anal sex and play, it’s important to know the facts and explore comfortably at your own pace and in a way that works for you. This is our how-to guide exploring the key aspects of all things anal sex and how to prepare for anal sex. There are so many different reasons why you might opt in for a bit of peach play. You might be bored of “penis in the vagina” sex and want to spice things up; you might want to give your prostate a long overdue rub; or you might be curious about trying exploring something new in the bedroom. Either way, this Anal 101 will give you our hints, tips and recommendations to safe and fun peach play.

So, what is anal sex and why do people do it?

Anal sex is nothing new. It’s been documented back even before the Ancient Greeks to between 100 AD and 800 AD in Northern Peru when the Moche culture of pottery exploded. They had a mania for portraying anal sex out of clay pottery – and were believed to be showing a form of birth control or make sense of new political power structures.

According to Pornhub, “anal” is the 3rd highest ranked search term in the UK. Despite its ancient roots, there is still a lot of stigma around anal sex – but the good news is this is decreasing and more heterosexual couples are reporting to have tried it at least once. In absolute terms, many more heterosexual couples have tried anal sex than homosexual couples – a third of which say this doesn’t form part of their regular sexual activity.

The butthole is full of lots of nerve endings, that for many of us feel amazing when stimulated! The rim of your butthole is where most of those nerve endings are – so you don’t even have to have a prostate to feel the effects – there’s still a lot of pleasure to be had in the first few centimetres. Many people describe the feeling of anal play as a delightful feeling of fullness; which doesn’t sound particularly exhilarating on paper, but can be sensational in action.

That being said, peach play isn’t for everyone and if you’re worried about it – that’s totally normal. You should only go as far as what you are comfortable with and what feels right for you. That’s the beauty of sexuality – there’s no right or wrong way to go.

Alexa, rub my prostate.

For those of you out there that have a prostate (P-spot), you’re in luck as anal play makes for an even more intense and pleasurable experience. “What the heck is a prostate?” you might be asking. The prostate is a small gland located inside the rectum near the bladder and produces prostate fluid, one of the key elements of semen. It feels like a small solid bulge and can be stimulated with a penis, toys and even your fingers.

It feels amazing (for many of us) to have the prostate stimulated and is one of the main reasons why receiving anal sex can be so enjoyable. This is where the oh so famous “cheeky finger” phrase came from. For many of us, prostate stimulation can often lead to having a prostate-induced orgasm – which is a definite rival to the conventional orgasm.

A prostate massager, like The Perky One, was designed to hit all of the erogenous spots including your prostate – all at the same time. The super-soft silicone inserts smoothly, with a firm and dented tip stimulating your tender P-spots to launch you into orgasmic euphoria.

No prostate? No problem.

For those women with a vagina or transitioned transmen out there who don’t have a prostate – this doesn’t mean the butthole is off the cards. Some vagina owners and non-prostate holders absolutely love a bit of peach play – remember those nerve endings we mentioned earlier still come into play.

It’s important to remember that the female clitoris is not the only part of the female anatomy designed for pleasure and is more often than not the source of anal pleasure. Anal play can stimulate the internal clitoris, which is highly pleasurable. But, it’s important to be aware that the butthole is nowhere near as malleable as the vagina and should be treated with care. The butthole is very tight, and the feeling of having something in there is unique. Often there is a significant amount of enjoyment experienced by the owner of a penis due to the relative tightness of the butthole when compared with the vagina.

How do you ask your partner about getting into peach play?

Talking about anal or even the prospect of a cheeky finger with your sexual partner can be daunting and intimidating. But, it’s one of those bite the bullet moments as a conversation with your partner is the best way to go. Speak openly and honestly about what you are both curious about, what you are willing to try and discuss where your limits lie. Everyone wants to have a great sexual experience. If they are into it, go ahead and get started!

Take the plunge…having anal sex

There are a few things you need to know before you jump in. The key is to start slow. The butthole is a muscle that needs to be worked up to having larger objects inserted into. Start with a finger, small butt plug (The Booty One has four sizes – the smallest is perfect for this) or even just some rimming and playing of the outer ring of the butthole. This can be done as part of solo or couple play, just make sure you lube up your toy or finger before warming up (you can read more about lube options below!). As you gently massage yourself and feel more aroused and comfortable, massage your finger or toy gently inside to loosen up the area. From there, do what you find most comfortable.

As you become more comfortable over time, you can try more than one finger or some of our larger butt plugs in The Booty One set. Just be sure never to put anything in your butthole that does not have a flared base, as it can get lost in the anus – as the anus is expansive and you cannot push it out!

When you do and if you do have anal sex, also take this slowly. Communication with your sexual partner is key to ensure you are both aware if anything hurts or if anyone is uncomfortable. You should never be afraid of asking to stop or taking a break – especially in the first few weeks. Be sure to stay as relaxed as possible which in the moment can be difficult. But tensing up can make anal play much more difficult and less satisfying and stimulating.

Keep Calm and Lube Up

Lube is the absolute key to safe and pleasurable anal play!

Unlike the vagina, the anus produces no natural lubrication. So, the more lube you use and the regularly you use it the better. Make sure to use a thicker, gel-like lube in anal play. We also recommend condoms every time. Whilst there is no risk of pregnancy from anal sex, sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) and other infections are widespread – not to mention the fact that the butthole is where poop comes from, which can result in bacterial infections, so always be safe.

When using condoms, make sure to only use water-based lubes as other lubricants can cause damage to most types of condoms (be sure to do your checks beforehand on what condoms you are using!). Often silicone-based lubricants are easier for anal play, as they are more slippery and tend to last longer before being absorbed but given their high oil content they can cause damage to condoms. So it’s always important to check and read the label before using a silicone-based lubricant.

This goes for any toys too. Make sure to only use silicone toys with water-based lubes as anything else can damage the silicone material – and no one wants that. We have two (amazing!) lubes, which we recommend with all types of anal play – and are condom and toy safe:

The Silky One – a great choice for anal play and day-to-day use our natural gel-like complexity enhances sexual play and is made with Aloe Vera extracts that are soft and kind to your skin.

The Anal One – specifically designed for anal play beginners, this lube has a much thicker structure and relaxing properties that makes the skin less sensitive and painful during entry. This makes anal play more comfortable whilst hydrating and moisturising your skin.

But, what about the poop?

There are no ifs or buts about it, sometimes you may encounter a little bit of poop. There are some horror stories out there about pooping during anal sex – but you can be sure that these are very much exceptions, and this will NOT happen.

That being said, you are likely to come into contact with a little bit of poop. At the end of the day, you are entering and playing with a butthole – so thinking there will be absolutely nothing is unrealistic. However, don’t let it put you off – most of the time you will be absolutely fine and anal play can still be amazing.

Shop our Anal Toys

Now you’ve got to grips with the basics. Time to put it into action. We’ve got a great collection of anal toys to suit all levels of experience; whether you are just getting started or are a seasoned rider.

Shop our Anal Toys

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